Now that the holidays are well behind and you are getting back to your usual routine, you may once again have time to focus on yourself and where you are in your life. And if you are married, the beginning of the new year is a good time to assess your relationship with your spouse. If all is going well and you are happy, then you likely won’t find the remainder of this post of interest. However, if you have concerns about the state of your union, you may want to read on.
Sometimes it is difficult to tell if a marriage is just going through a rough patch or if it is in serious trouble, but the following are some questions you can use for self-assessment.
- Do you have mostly negative interactions with your spouse? A happy couple’s ratio of positive to negative interactions is 20 to 1. But if your positive to negative interactions ratio is 8 to 1 or worse, you may be on the path to divorce.
- Do you and your spouse live more like roommates than husband and wife? If you and your spouse are sleeping in separate rooms or if you are living autonomously, there could be a problem.
- Do you have a strong feeling that it is time to get out? Don’t ignore your instincts. If your gut is sending you messages, you may want to talk about it with your family, friends or a therapist.
Answering “yes” to any one of these questions does not mean you are on a collision course with divorce. However, two or more answers in the affirmative could mean a change is in order. This could mean seriously discussing your concerns with your spouse or perhaps even going to couples’ counseling.
But if you have come to the conclusion that it is time to move on then you might want to get in touch with an experienced divorce attorney. An attorney can explain the divorce process and help you take the steps necessary to begin your new life.