During the last few years, there has been considerable progress toward highlighting the importance of giving explicit consent in any sexual encounter. Yet, many teenagers will still be confused about how this works in a real-life situation.
If you are the parent of a teenage child, you may not feel comfortable discussing sex with them, and they might not feel comfortable discussing it with you. Unfortunately, that can lead to gaps in knowledge that they will fill with information gained from friends or the internet.
While the internet can be a fantastic source of information, there are few filters, and anyone can post almost anything. As a result, many teenagers now grow up with ideas that rough sex is normal, gained from watching online pornography. They grow up assuming they are expected to give or receive it and that saying no is just part of the game, not to be taken literally.
Another issue is the plethora of pick-up artist sites and books — sites that suggest someone saying no means you need to try harder or insist until they give in because deep down, they want to have sex with you and are just playing hard to get.
Consent is often unclear in early sexual experiences
All of this can lead to teenagers having confusing sexual encounters where at least one of them walks away unsure of how they feel about the event. Their thoughts about the event may also change over time, as they talk to friends or as their parents find out and berate them about it.
As a result of a young person’s confusion or embarrassment, they may later accuse the other party of sexual assault or date rape. They may claim they never explicitly said they wanted the specific action to occur. If it is your son or daughter they accuse, you will need urgent help to defend your child for acting in a way they thought was consensual. Another person’s regret should not ruin your child’s life.